Category Archives: Christianity


Christians in America need to start repenting. We really do.

We have a fun time poking at the culture around us and pointing out the major logs in their eyes. But if we want change to take place in our nation, we can’t just call those people out there to repent. We ourselves need to see the problems we contribute to this mess we live in.

It’s stupid to complain about the woes of this country without recognizing that we probably often follow in the footsteps of those who have caused those woes. Take for example abortion. We as Christian lament that abortion is taking place near and around us. But how did we get to where abortion became on demand?

Easy: Because Christians of the past allowed for on demand divorce. The beginning of the destruction of God’s institutions began when Christians stopped believing in those institutions. When you can get divorced for any reason, why not kill your children for any reason?

When men gave their children to be educated by others, abrogating their responsibility to train up their children, their hearts began to be turned away from their children, and in turn their children’s hearts turned away from them. So why would a man care to be responsible to a wife and children?

And these things weren’t being done by a secular society, but a Christian one.

We have much sin in this country to repent of. Judgement starts in God’s house. We assume individuality over and above God’s institution of marriage and family. Christians began that, so it’s no wonder our society see’s man’s feelings as the great controller of reality. Christians started it.

So there is much to blame for the sins and problems of our society because of previous generations, but one way out of those problems isn’t by compounding them more in disobeying God even further. God commands us to honor our fathers and mothers. So while we can speak of their sins, we must obey God in honoring.

It’s our disobedience that got us here, and continuing in rebellion will not get us out. So we must first sanctify Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives and we must obey him in all things. And that always first starts with repentance and repenting of our individual sins, as well as the sins of those around us. We need to repent and we need to obey God.

It is not enough to mock the culture. That has it’s place. But we must be on our knees lamenting over our sin, our indifference, our cold hearts, our lust, our effeminacy, our pride, our ignorance, and our arrogance. We must lament over the sins of Christians who continue to ignore the word of God, who abuse his word, and who hate obedience to his word.

We are in a situation where Christians all over America need to repent. If not, we will get what’s coming to us.

Which Christ do you Proclaim?

In America today, it’s all too easy to meet a Christian on the street, in a magazine, or on TV. They’re nearly everywhere you turn.

And that’s the problem.

Something that once meant something now is as loose as a dog who is fenced in by a fence without wood or nails. Nearly anyone can be a Christian and yet not believe in Jesus Christ. It’s impossible to claim to believe in Jesus and yet deny Him at the same time.

Actually, I take that back. Many Christians do it today. They do the impossible, I must admit. They can do all things through Christ who strengthen’s them, one of those things being denying Christ.

Of course, the denial isn’t out-right. It’s not an in your face, I don’t believe in Jesus denial. It’s more like the husband who never wears his wedding ring, especially at strip-clubs, never see’s his wife or kids, and never takes responsibility for them. Oh, he never denies his marriage. He boasts in his “happy marriage!” He talks about how these other husbands who actually listen to their wives and care for the education of their children “ought not judge the other husbands” because he “knows what husbanding it truly about.”

It’s a denial that boasts of many things, talks about this amazing love for Jesus, but when you exam their lives, there is nothing of the kind. And this tragedy means there are many sheep being led by false teachers and prophets, and new religious groups rise up who speak in some authority and seem to be the opposite of the culture, but are just as dangerous and deadly.

I call myself a Christian, and I will stick with the term because it does mean something. If others want to call themselves Christians it doesn’t bother me, even if they’re false. They’ll at some point be found out and or be snuffed out by God. I’ll keep following Jesus Christ, because he is my only hope for salvation.

Anyone who calls themselves a Christian is proclaiming a Christ. The question is, which Christ are they proclaiming? A Christ who looks like them and their beliefs? Or a Christ of the Bible?

I meet plenty of closet Christians, and one day they’ll come out of the closet, or they’ll be shown for what they really are: pretenders. For now, being a Christian has a wide variety of meanings and as a Christian I just have to deal with it.

Well, I do more than deal with it. It means I get to call these Christians to follow Christ, to which they show their hypocrisy by being labeled some sort of hateful bigot because I side with the God of the Bible.

I’m okay with being called a hateful racist bigot, because I get to respond “I know you are but what am I?” Hopefully we can call people to a higher standard of reasoning than name calling and childish tactics, but something tells me universities today don’t know what reasoning is. If they did, people may actually be taught how to listen, dialogue, and speak without name calling.

And that would be a tragedy.

John Cassian on Reading Scripture

This man therefore, when some of the brethren were wondering at the splendid light of his knowledge and were asking of him some meanings of Scripture, said that a monk who wanted to acquire a knowledge of the Scriptures ought not to spend his labour on the works of commentators, but rather to keep all the efforts of his mind and intentions of his heart set on purifying himself from carnal vices: for when these are driven out, at once the eyes of the heart, as if the veil of the passions were removed, will begin as it were naturally to gaze on the mysteries of Scripture: since they were not declared to us by the grace of the Holy Spirit in order that they should remain unknown and obscure; but they are rendered obscure by our fault, as the veil of our sins covers the eyes of the heart, and when these are restored to their natural state of health, the mere reading of Holy Scripture is by itself amply sufficient for beholding the true knowledge, nor do they need the aid of commentators, just as these eyes of flesh need no man’s teaching how to see, provided that they are free from dimness or the darkness of blindness. For this reason there have arisen so great differences and mistakes among commentators because most of them, paying no sort of attention towards purifying the mind, rush into the work of interpreting the Scriptures, and in proportion to the density or impurity of their heart form opinions that are at variance with and contrary to each other’s and to the faith, and so are unable to take in the light of truth.

John Cassian

Try this the next time you read your Bible

An author intends for their words to mean something. A good author consider’s their audience and writes in an understandable way that will communicate to them effectively. Unfortunately, the way most people read today is dishonoring and disrespectful to authors.

Surrounded by the culture I am today, most people don’t care what someone meant by what they said. Instead,  they will interpret it however they want. You see, there is much confusion on the meaning of words and how to communicate and understand people. This is bound to happen when you call evil good and good evil. You’re bound to not understand what words mean, what people are saying, and what is actually going on because you don’t think words are actually trying to communicate something.

What is worse is that people not only do this to one another, but they do this to the Word of God. People interpret Bible however they want to by disrespecting the authors.

For example, they will take the words: effeminate men will go to hell unless they repent; and they will interpret that to mean you hate effeminate men and want them all to die. Or that you believe you’re better than they are. They essentially interpret the purpose you have in saying what you say.

Today, when the Bible is read, they interpret it thinking they know the mysteries of the cosmos and are allowed to take it whatever way they want to. And this is a major problem. This is a major problem because words lose their meaning in a society like that.

If a word or a sentence means 10,000 things because 10,000 people take them to mean something different, then that is a society that doesn’t know how to communicate effectively.

If you still don’t see a problem with this, then never get upset again when someone misunderstands you. Because your words don’t mean anything and we can take them however we want them to mean, right?

We must let the author mean what he means. We must let the author tell us what he means. And that means, instead of taking it to mean what we want, we get rid of our preconceived beliefs about a text and we look at it and think about what the author is trying to communicate.

The technique I am going to tell you is a great way to start practicing. It’s not the best way or the only way, but it’s a fun and helpful way.

Here it is, in the form of a question:

How would the author of this book read their words out loud?

The next book of the Bible you want to study, think about this and even try it out loud. Read the Bible and imagine the way the author would want it to be read out loud, and then read it that way.

What this does is get you thinking about the author, and his focus, and his emphasis, and his style, and the voice he’d have, and where he’d raise his voice, or weep, or sing, or shout, or get quiet.

Practice it with this passage, and remember: don’t read it the way you think it should be read, think about the way John would want you to read it. How would John imitate Nicodemus and Jesus in this passage? How would John do the narration? What would John sound like reading out loud this passage?

John 3:1-21

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

Now, of course the problem occurs that John’s native tongue wasn’t English, so we won’t technically sound like John or get it even remotely correct. But, it gets us thinking about what is John communicating, what is he trying to get across, and what would he be emphasizing in his voice in this passage?

Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Ephesians 1:11-12

Ephesians 1:11-14

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory. (ESV)

In continuing going through Ephesians, we come to Ephesians 1:11-14. We’ve looked at verses 1-10, and came across the amazing truth’s of what we have in Christ when we become Christians. We continue this theme in verses 11-14.

The saints have obtained an inheritance. This is an interesting phrase because it’s past tense. We already have our inheritance, Paul is saying. Yet, the last verse indicates that we don’t have possession of it right now, and because we can’t get to our inheritance yet, God has sealed us with the Holy Spirit, who guarantees our inheritance.

I want to emphasis something that is explicit in this text but many ignore.

Christians have obtained this inheritance, why? Because they have been predestined. By who? By the one who works all things according to the counsel of his will. Who does his own will perfectly? God. So God has predestined a people to be his people and obtain an inheritance because he is working all things according to his purpose. And in God’s purpose, he works all things according to his will for that purpose. This is strong language.

God does what he wants and he works it all according to his own will. And part of that will was predestining “we.” The we is referring to Christians. The we is referring to “Paul” and “the saints who are at Ephesus.” Which, in this letter being intended as a circulatory letter, was intended for all the saints. Or all Christians who are in Christ.

Paul then continues to say that this purpose was for God’s glory and praise. God seeks to glorify and magnify himself. He does so by electing a people, predestining them, adopting them, forgiving them, uniting them to Christ, uniting all things to Christ, and giving them an inheritance.

When Paul says, “so that we who were the first to hope in Christ,” he’s literally talking about to and about that generation of Christians who were the first to hope in Christ. They were predestined to be the first, according to God’s glory, power, wisdom, and purpose, so that they’d be the first to the glory and praise of God and Christ.

God deserves all worship, praise, and glory. He does not share his glory with another. Which means God also glorifies himself. And he does so by orchestrating the entire universe according to his purposes, for his glory.

Next Sunday (Lord willing), I’ll finish with verses 13-14.

May God give you grace.

How to Read the Bible (2)

There’s something else I want to add on my thoughts about how to read the Bible. When it comes to reading the Bible, what is the role of the Holy Spirit?

Give us understanding

Paul tells Timothy in one particular passage:

2 Timothy 2:7 “Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.”

Previous to this verse Paul tells Timothy to put men in charge who will faithfully teach the message of Jesus Christ. Paul then exhorts Timothy by appealing to three different analogies. Then Paul says, “think over what I say.”

This is interesting because Paul purposefully gives Timothy some stuff that isn’t immediately understandable. Each is disconnected and not easily ascertained as to what Paul is saying. Paul knows this, and writes to think it over.

That’s where I want to pause. As Christians who ought to be reading our Bible, we must read, and read daily. Sometimes our reading will be poor and quick, other times it will be long and satisfying. Regardless, the Bible needs to be read, and if we can read it long, then we must strive for that. Why? Because Paul says to Timothy to pause, stare, reflect, think over what he had just said.

When we read the Bible, we must use our minds, not merely our hearts. We shouldn’t stop on a passage because it seems to apply to our lives right now. We shouldn’t read until something is applicable to you. We should read, and then pause, and reflect, and ponder, and think hard over what we just read.

Which is why I said devotional reading shouldn’t be the only type of reading we do. We ought to be wrestling with a book of the Bible, thinking about what is being said, who is saying it, to whom it is being said, and figuring out the mere facts of the Bible. The stuff that’s there in the text. Why it was written that way, and why it was said like that, and why certain words were and weren’t used, and what the whole passage or book is about.

We must be deep thinkers.

But why? Well, because Paul says, “for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.”

If we want to grow in understanding, we need to think. Reading can be thinking, and reading can also be done in such a way that we obtain nothing. We must be thinking along side of reading. We must be asking questions. Why? Because God will give us understanding.

It is the Holy Spirit who will teach us what the Bible says, but only if we think about the passage. We cannot pretend to think we have the Bible right just because we prayed about it and something seemed to fit. We shouldn’t mock God, like a genie. We must revere God, and we must treat His word respectfully. Which means, as I said before, understanding that these words mean something more than what I want them to me. These words mean something that the author intended them to mean and I need to figure out what he intended to communicate.

One of the roles of the Holy Spirit, then, when it comes to us reading the Bible, is to give us understanding as we think through what was said/written.

May we understand what we read. May we not abuse the text by believing the text to mean whatever we want it to mean.

How to read the Bible

If we as Christians need to read the word of God daily, then we also need to know how to read the Bible. You’d think that we’d know how to but the sad reality is that as Christians we often don’t.

The reason for this isn’t because the Bible is some magical book that needs a magical way of reading it. The reason is because in our ignorance, arrogance, sin, and believing what the world has told us, we read the Bible in how we want to read it.

To read the Bible is simple, but we have over-complicated it. To read the Bible is easy, but we make it into something other than it should be.

So how can we begin to learn to read the Bible?

First Steps

The first step in reading the Bible is know what the Bible is and isn’t.

The Bible is a book written by multiple authors in multiple periods of time in multiple places. This should be obvious but it isn’t. I believe the Bible to be the word of God, but I also know the Bible, as the word of God, was written by over 60 authors, spanning a few thousand years, in different cultures.

To know this means we don’t read this book like you do every other book. Most books you may read today are probably written by people in your country, within the past fifty years.  Since these books you read are closer to you in time and culture you have less work to do in trying to understand what the author was saying. When it comes to the Bible we are separated by a few thousand years, thousands of miles, and thousands of cultural changes.

Each of these factors becomes an obstacle in understanding the Bible. However, this doesn’t mean you need to be a scholar who reads all sorts of historical information about the time period to understand what is going on in the text of Scripture. While I argue it would be a good thing to do and one every Christians ought to do, it’s not necessary to spend hundreds of hours to study the culture and context Moses was in so you can understand the command “Do not steal.”

So what am I saying? What I’m saying is being aware of these facts will help you come up with questions that will help you in reading the Bible. Knowing this will get you to pause and reflect and ask questions like, “Who was the original audience of this book?” “What were they like?” “How would they understand these things?”

When you begin asking those questions, you will begin to see much more of the Bible open up to you. You will notice things you hadn’t before. And much more of the Bible will begin to make sense. Why? Because you will be asking the right questions and you will remove the veil that your current context brings to see more of the glory of God’s word.

What it isn’t

So now that you know what the Bible is in it’s most basic and tangible form: multiple books written by multiple authors over the course of multiple centuries and cultures, all orchestrated and designed by God to communicate what he desires of his people to know about him and about how they ought to live; let’s look at what the Bible isn’t.

I’m not going to give a full explanation of each of these, but they should be rather obvious:

  1. The Bible is not your personal handbook to living life
  2. The Bible is not the “road map of life”
  3. The Bible is not a how to book
  4. The Bible is not a horoscope, Ouija board, or any sort of magical book that gives you direct answers to what you should do right now like buy this car or marry that person.
  5. The Bible is not a book that we should flippantly read: Understanding it leads to life, misunderstanding means death.



Christians need to do this daily

One of the worst things Christians can do is neglect their calling as Christians. This calling is one that urges us to take action, be ready, be prepared, to suit up, to arm ourselves, renew our minds and think hard. Being a Christians is a life of action. There is no passivity in the Christian life. If you’re being passive then you probably aren’t being all that God has called his people to be.

What Christ did was not passive

When we think of the one we follow, our Lord Jesus Christ, we often think of one who was acting. When he descended from the heavens to become a man, that was an action. When he lived life on earth he was active. We even get a glimpse of Jesus as a young boy, around thirteen, stepping outside of his family and remaining in the temple to be about his Father’s business.

What’s interesting is God’s actions in saving us are something we passively receive. The blessings of being redeemed, adopted, chosen, and given a new heart are all things God does to us, things in which we did nothing for. The beginning of our Christian lives is one in which God acts upon us, but the rest of the Christian life is working out what God has worked within.

The change God causes within us sets us up on a path of good works. We we’re created in Christ Jesus for good works, as Paul says in Ephesians.

This we must do daily

With all this being said, there is one thing we Christians cannot neglect if we are to be Christians. That thing is putting on the armor of God.

The armor of God is another way of saying the new man, the man born again in Christ. It’s another way of saying putting on Christ. It’s another way of saying being renewed in our minds.

And we do this primarily by immersing ourselves in the Word of God. We must be reading the Bible daily. Not just reading it like a devotional. If we want to mature in Christ we need to grow up from reading the Bible as little grapes to pick up and chew. We must read the Bible as a whole course meal, providing us with the proper nutrition of growing into maturity.

There are some items on our plate we don’t like eating, like vegetables. But, eating those are good and right. In the same way, if we skip over the parts that are hard to understand or that we don’t like reading, we will neglect the blessings of the fullness of God’s word. We will have to rely upon others for our nutrition, which can lead to being blown about by strange doctrines.

As Christians, in order to take up our armor, and to know how to wield the sword of the Spirit, aka the word of God, then we must be reading the Bible daily, and reading through the whole Bible regularly. And over the course of ten years, you’ll know far more of the Bible if you do so, and will be blessed for having done so.

On pleasing God and Man

Depending upon who you look for approval from, that is where you derive your standard of measure from. You want to please mom? You do it to her liking. You want to please man? You do it to their liking. You want to please God? You do it to His standard of Himself and how He loves Himself.

This is why we ought to be working for God and not man. We should care more about if we are doing things according to God’s word than if we are pleasing man. Sometimes, however, these things cross over into one another. The only way to describe this would be to use myself as an example.

Massage Therapy

So I’m going to show the distinctions between pleasing God and pleasing man, and the overlap between them as a massage therapist.

When it comes to pleasing God, I must ask myself a few questions: Am I doing this to the best of my ability? Am I sinning by: gossiping with my client, lusting after my client, or allowing my client to make inappropriate gestures and comments? Am I doing what my job requires of me, thus submitting to my authorities?

When it comes to pleasing man, I must ask myself: Am I addressing my clients needs? Am I providing the right amount of pressure they asked for? Am I communicating to them if something they ask for cannot be done or shouldn’t be done? Am I providing them with an excellent service that makes them want to come back?

When they overlap:  Am I setting up guardrails to defend myself against lust and protect my client from immodesty? Am I staying up to date with the latest information to give to my client about massage and their condition?

As you read some of these questions you’ll see that truly all of these questions overlap in some way because my job is one that is a service to people. So the questions I must ask myself about doing my work for God are mostly about sin and excellence. Am I doing it in excellence? Am I seeing this work as work that I am doing because God is my boss, my master? The question I ask about pleasing man have to do with the service I provide for them.

When it comes to other areas of life we need to think through what the distinctions are, if we need to be pleasing God over man in this moment, or if pleasing man is what God desires in this moment. An example would be as a husband I must seek to please my wife. This is something God tells us to do. So the most God honoring thing would be to do as she desires, like taking her out on a date weekly. Does God require I take her out on a date? No. He never says that a man must date her weekly. But does God require I please her? Yes. And that means taking her out on a date weekly.

Which reminds me. I need to schedule that.


As Christians, we must never be afraid to hurt people’s feelings or offend people, but we must not seek to purposefully offend and hurt. However, if someone thinks that murdering children is okay, then we must speak the truth and not care how they will feel when we tell them how utterly wicked their beliefs are. If you don’t think that confronting people on sin is a good thing then look at Jesus’ example.

He’s a great example of not caring what others think. He’s a great example on pleasing God. He’s a great example on caring for and pleasing man.

This simple statement could change your career forever

We all have to make choices in how we’re going provide for our families. We have to decide what role we play as a part of a family. We have to decide how we will function and what we will do in our community and society to make a living. But deciding what you should do can be difficult. Some of us want out of our jobs. Some of us want to make more money. Some of us want to do something else but won’t try to because we probably can’t make a living doing that.

As a husband and father I have had major shifts in my thinking. When I was younger I had to decide what I wanted to do with my life. It was such a big question looming over me. What is the one thing I’m going to contribute to society and the world? What is it I am going to decide to do with the rest of my life?

As I look back I realize how naive these questions were. I was assuming that I would stick to that one thing throughout my life. I was also entirely focused on myself and what I could do instead of on one simple thing that has changed me.

It’s obvious

When we focus on ourselves we end up loosing what we’re looking for. The people who try and “find themselves” end up usually more confused and ambiguous about who they really are. Some people think they become these amazing philosophers, and when you read what they write, they not only make absolutely no sense but it also doesn’t reflect the real world or any sort of basic thinking.

Jesus said that if you try to keep your life then you will lose it, but if lose your life for His sake then you’ll find life. Now this is a simple statement that Christians overlook. Jesus is saying that the more you try to gain and make something of yourself in this life then you will lose your life and yourself. If, however, you live for Him, then you will not only have life, but also yourself.

But that isn’t the simple statement I’m talking about. There are profound implications of what Jesus commands Christians to do there, but I am talking about careers so let’s focus in there while keeping in mind that principle.

The Simple Statement

When it comes to careers and picking that “one thing” you’re going to do with your life then you need to keep this one simple thing in mind that will change what you do for a career or what you do in your career.

Here it is: Make life easier for others.

If you want to know what will help you know what you ought to do “with your life,” when it comes to choosing a career, it’s that. It’s making life easier for others. This is what all good business and business practices are about. Making life easier for others. Whether you’re selling goods or services.

Often when people think about what career they want to do, they usually pick something they like, entirely focused on what they want and what they desire. They sometimes think of job security, or what makes the most money, or what could get them the things they want. And you want to know why most Americans aren’t satisfied with their jobs?

Instead of looking at what you like, analyze what people have said you’re good at, and combine those things together with: “What is it that other people need that I can help them with?”

It’s not prideful to think you can help someone with something. It’s called knowing yourself and knowing others. Farmers aren’t prideful. We often think of them as down to earth and humble people. Yet they provide and help tons of people with one major problem: we need to eat.

Sum it all up

So if you want to figure out what you should “do with your life,” and don’t know what it is you should do, and you don’t want to be miserable, then there’s two thing you need to do: You need to give your life up to Jesus Christ and seek to know Him, and you then need to think about what things you can do that will benefit others.

If you aim to produce goods or create services that make the lives of others easier, or aim to work for a company that produces good or creates services that make the lives of others easier, then the possibilities are endless of what you can do, and also you’re never stuck on one career path. Because helping others no longer becomes about just what you can do, but how can you keep making others lives easier. So you may invent an app, and then create a service, and then start a business, and then freelance, and then move onto others things because you see a new need. You see a new way you can make the lives of others easier.

So don’t focus on a career but focus on a type of living. One that seeks to honor God in all things, because He knows what’s best for people, and one that works to make the lives of others easier.

Anybody can implement this. You can remove my religious talk and just listen to the practical things I wrote, but know that Jesus didn’t say lose your life for the sake of others but the sake of him. So you may be able to seek to make the lives of others easier, and many haters of God do, but you still haven’t truly found life.

On Fighting with my wife

Something I’ve been reflecting on is the arguments I get into with my wife. I wrote previously that sin is our problem. However, I also want to add something that must not be ignored.

Fighting with your spouse may be the very thing God uses to edify and change you into a better man or woman. As Christians, if we believe God uses all things together for our good, then that includes our fights with our spouses. That includes our disagreements.

What this means is that we need to look at our fights as information gathering. In a fight, there is much that is demonstrated. Our sin, where we disagree, what we each think and believe.

God will use our disagreements to help us mature. We must use them for that end. This is why I thank God for my fights with my wife. I don’t thank God for the sin in those fights, but that sin is revealed and disunity in particular areas is brought to light. As a husband, these fights reveal to me where I must think through if I am wrong or right regardless of how I feel. If we do disagree then I need to lead us through the necessary steps in either coming to an agreement or in choosing to walk together in a way that doesn’t undermine one-another.

Often in fights both parties need to seek forgiveness for their sins, but that’s not all. Both also need to listen and reflect, using these opportunities to grow and mature and see if there is truth to what is being portrayed, even if we don’t like how it’s being portrayed.