Being a mediocre Theologian

It’s a Tuesday. Generally it comes after Monday, that day of the week we’re all glad to have passed but dread passing because we know it’s coming again. But, it’s Tuesday and we know today is the day the Lord has made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it. Though, we all admit that it’s hard to rejoice and be glad in it because it is another day of driving to work, driving from work, doing our duties for our money, and hopefully forgetting about it when we get home (can’t believe my co-worker said). Yes, it’s a mediocre day, this Tuesday. Nothing special will happen. Nothing adventurous, amazing, crazy, or spectacular that will change everything in life. No revolutionizing thoughts will strike us. No meteors from the sky will fall, nor will the fat baby with a bow and wings shoot the single people (that is, unmarried).

Well, I lied. Nothing of such amazing magnitude -like discovering aliens, if you believe in those things- will happen, but something more amazing will happen, that is, the mediocre.

One mediocre and mundane and normal thing is thousands of woman being pregnant at this moment. My wife being one of them, and at least seven people I know as well, I realize that I may be underestimating the number, but I’m allowed to do that. And if you believe in pregnant woman but don’t believe in aliens, I might convince you right now that aliens do exist.

How? Well most people define aliens as little green monsters from another planet or region of space. But the truth is far closer. Aliens exist right here. And, the little monster growing in my wife’s body, sucking away nutrients, and growing at an enormous pace, is far more bizarre than an intelligent green being somewhere out there in the cosmos. Far more alien.

Scientists often define “Alien Life” as any living thing (bacteria being the smallest, and if I am wrong correct me) that comes from outside the earth. Thus, often they make claims of finding “bacteria” off their robots on Mars and the like, and stamp it with the sensational term “primitive alien.” Okay, maybe I made up the primitive alien part, but my point is this: if aliens can be bacteria, then surely far more alien and weird is the fact a cell dictates when and how my wife will bleed monthly, to remove itself from her body, so that another cell can warp from her ovary to her uterus, so that it can hang out until a little white alien that comes from outside so that it can enter in, and together they merge and form a whole other being, complete with capabilities to continue the process as well as speak, move, learn, and believe in aliens.

Scientists are looking in the wrong direction for alien life. But I guess they don’t want to acknowledge what they know until they know that we know that life only exists here, and then maybe they’ll explore all the alien life on this planet.

Speaking of this planet, do you know what day it is?

Tuesday. Another mundane and mediocre day where tons of little aliens are taking over the bodies of wives and women, preventing some from eating normal, causing others to vomit what they eat, and even making more room for itself by pushing the womb and skin further and further out.

And thus I conclude with this, which doesn’t seem like a normal conclusion but I’ll toss it out anyways: We all have a Theology. We are all mediocre Theologians. We believe something about God and draw conclusions from it. Many scientists believe God doesn’t exist, so they look for the little white, I mean, green men who planted a part of themselves on this planet so that we would exist, though they don’t know where those green men came from, if there were purple men who created the green men planet.

Many mothers forget Scientists exist, so they go on finding it amazing that life is happening inside of them, and are tired of being so tired, because that little alien just can’t seem to let her alone. And, some mothers believe with the Scientists, and turn to the alien channels, hoping those Scientists or searchers have found their alien parents. Not wanting to acknowledge their own parents.

And all mothers and scientists have decided what they think about the Bible. Not merely believing or disbelieving, or thinking it an ancient book… But deciding if the book is good, true, interesting, boring, old, young, vibrant, dead, or if it really is about God.

And I feel bad both for the mothers and Scientists, because one is experiencing life, and it’s tiring, and another is searching for life, and it’s exciting. But my understanding of God creating all things allows for me to believe in Scientists and Mothers, but not aliens. Simply because there are too many aliens all around me, and these aliens seem to be fascinated with the idea there may be aliens out there, but not with the idea that they are the aliens right here. And my understanding that God must renew my mind to conform my thoughts about Him to match His thoughts about Himself, and His thoughts about everything, makes me realize the Bible is different than what I think, and different from what the mediocre mother theologian and mediocre scientist theologian thinks, especially when they don’t think they’re theologians.

Oh, and I’m okay with the fact that God created a humongous universe and it having no “practical” purpose because it’s “wasted space.” But, space isn’t wasted especially if it declares the glory and handiwork of the Creator. And if it is, then let the space be a waste, because it wastes itself on the purpose to all of life, God’s glory.

About TruthN

Husband. Father of one. Writer of fiction. Massage Therapist. Video Game, Comic Book, Fiction, and Non-Fiction enjoy'r. Reader of Theology. You may find him reading the Bible. View all posts by TruthN

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